5 steps to build your self-worth
Deciding that you want to believe in your worthiness will be the most important decision you make in your entire life.
Self-worth can seem an abstract concept but our sense of self-worth influences how we show up in our personal life, our career, our business, our relationship. So believing you are worthy is key.
Imagine that for you, your car is important, that it has a high value. You’ll make good decisions about where to park the car, how often to get it serviced, and how you will drive it. It’s the same for yourself: if you have a high sense of self-worth, you’ll take care of yourself, and take good decisions for your life.
If you don't believe that you're worth a lot then it's absolutely going to show up in your life and in your relationships and how you roll basically throughout the entirety of your life.
What is self-worth?
The dictionary defines self-worth as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.”
I will go a bit deeper. I like to define self-worth as a deep knowing that we are of value, that we deserve the good things in life, that we deserve what you want, and that we are lovable.
It’s an internal sense of being enough, good enough.
Self-worth is being able to feel good about yourself with no influence from another person or outside source. Self-worth is about who you are, not what you do or have.
And, it's something that many people, including highly successful people, struggle with.
How are you sabotaging your self-worth?
We constantly measure our worth, but we are often not aware of how we do it. We measure it with our job, our age, our achievements, our relationship status, our appearance… We try to feel worthy with external things and it never works. Here are some ways we compromise our self-worth:
1- Perfectionism: we feel unworthy if we're imperfect, if we make mistakes, or fail..
2- Overworking: we work to excess in order to feel valued and receive tangible proof of our worthiness (praise, financial compensation, degrees, awards, etc...)
3- Busyness: We over schedule and keep ourselves busy as a way to feel important and needed.
4- Comparison: We look to others to measure our value. We compare ourselves to others and feel inferior.
5- People-pleasing: We prioritize other people's opinions above our own. We compromise our values and needs to please others, or be liked, and we feel "less than" when others are angry or disappointed with us.
“Self-worth comes from within. No amount of outside validation or approval will give it to you”
There’s a reason for self-worth to start by self. you can’t find it in anyone else. It comes from within, not from external things or people. We all were born worthy. No one can decide if we are worthy or not, but us.
5 steps to build your self-worth :
Self-awareness: as always and for everything, awareness is the first step. We can only change what we are aware of. When you uncover a subconscious limiting belief, by only being aware of it, it already changes our automatic response.
Decide: Decide now that you are worthy just being you. Deciding to believe that you are worthy is the most important decision you can make in your life. When you own your self-worth, you treat yourself and you ask to be treated with respect and don’t settle for less than that. Realize that your worth comes from within and we were all born worthy.
Stop comparison: You feel unworthy when you think that worthiness is coming from your external circumstances ( money, relationship, social status etc..) You then compare your life to the image you have of the life of others. And you feel « less » than them. Stop comparing yourself, each one is unique. Nobody has the perfect life, you don’t have the full picture. Instead, stay in your lane, trust your timing, know your strengths, focus on the positive and celebrate your wins.
Watch your self talk: Learn how to silence your inner critic, and use deliberately a more positive language about yourself. Bob the Douchebag, my inner critic, was telling me all the time that I wasn't enough. Now that I know how to shut him up, my sense of self worth sky-rocketed!
Visualization: The best tool to connect with your subconscious mind and overcome your limiting beliefs and therefore boost your sense of self worth. Visualize the version of you who feels worthy, and start thinking and acting like them.
Your self-worth is entirely up to you. You were born worthy.
You’re worthy because you believe it. Look within and trust you are enough.
I will finish with my favorite affirmations to increase your sense of self-worth:
No matter what I have done or not done, I am worthy
I was granted worthiness the day I was born
It’s an honor to be me.
I am imperfect, I am unique and I am worthy.
The only person who can validate my worth is me, I choose to feel worthy now, exactly as I am.
Any thoughts or stories you’d like to share? Leave me a comment below. I’d love to hear from you!
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