“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” - Steve Jobs

We all want to be liked by others, it’s a human thing. Significance and connection are part of the 6 human needs that drive all human behaviors, as outlined by Tony Robbins, in his Ted talk in 2006 : “Why we do what we do”. This Ted talk became one of the ten most watched TED Talks of all time.

The problem is when you care so much about what other people could think that it stops you from getting out of your comfort zone. Like for example talking your truth with your partner, exposing your ideas to your boss, starting this new business, getting in this relationship with someone younger than you etc.

If you don’t overcome your fear of being criticized or rejected, you’ll end living a life that you think make others happy, but not you. How sad is this?

SOME SIGNS THAT YOU CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK :

• You only feel accomplished when someone praises you

• You think rejection means you need to change who you are.

• You're a people-pleaser, at the expense of your own wellbeing

• You feel like you can't stand up for your opinions, with your partner, family, friends or at work.

• You care more about what your partner or friends think of you than about what you think of them

• You spend money you don’t have to “keep up” with people in your life

• You always think that people are talking in your back

3 TIPS TO CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK

1 - ASSUME THE BEST :

As humans we tend toward cognitive distortions. They are simply habitual ways of thinking that our mind uses to convince us of something that isn’t really true, These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions. Black or white thinking, overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing are few of them.

You don’t really know what other people think, you’re not in their head. Unless they tell you directly what they think, you are just assuming. So why not assuming the best! It’s important to question your thinking.

2 - VISUALIZE YOURSELF ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL:

Visualization is an incredible tool. Athletes use it to imagine themselves doing the perfect move, winning a competition etc.. Your brain doesn’t make the difference between what you imagine and what happens in the reality. You can create an emotion imagining a scenario. So you can create confidence imagining you achieving your goal. It’ll be then easier not to care so much about what other people could think.

3 - BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE:

The more self-confident you are, the less you need external validation or approval from others, to feel good with yourself. Boosting your self-confidence is a process ( that I teach to my clients with great success). Self-confidence starts in your mind. Your beliefs about yourself and your abilities determine your level self-confidence. Choose intentionally positive and empowering beliefs. Your brain will look for evidence that your beliefs are true. Then, with constantly taking action, you’ll reinforce this feeling of confidence.

If you are ready to become the most confident version of yourself, book a virtual coffee chat here. Ask me all your questions about mindset and confidence coaching and enjoy 30 mn of free coaching!